I have to confess that this has been the first week that I have actively had to fight with my mental health. And, I'm ashamed to say, I nearly let it overwhelm me. I lost complete confidence in my ability to be a human being and just didn't want to deal with any of the issues. I nearly engaged in the old behaviour of ignoring the issues and hoping they would go away. However something made me think 'No Katy, don't go back there, do you really want to do all that?' To which my braincells responded 'Nah, you don't, come on get on with it.'
I established the reason that my MH decided it wanted to take a brief venture away from my life. Simply, I was dealing with a lot of minor stressful situations outside of my academic life, which in turn just all built up until it got to the point on Tuesday that I was on the verge of just completely breaking down.
Oh, ok then, I did, I cried to myself. And, talked to many people who helped me deal with the situations, one by one. And now they are all sorted. Or at least, they are as sorted as is to be expected with things that take time to sort out.
ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF THE WOE! Onwards and upwards with the positivity...
My dissertation suddenly decided to declare it's structure to me, because obviously dissertations do this, they talk to you! Well ok, no they don't but I left the thoughts of structure alone for a few days and when I woke up prior to dissertation meeting on Wednesday the thought 'oooo yes, split it by masulintiy and femininity' occurred. Then in the meeting 'The Doctor's sexuality/sexuality in general' also appeared. Sudden faith has been restored. Now I am currently on a mission to write this 1500 words I need to for the 2nd of next month. At the time of writing this, it is a mere 52 words long! And half a a4 page of notes. Got two more episodes of series three to watch and then I can get on with it.
I also signed up for a presentation, and promptly forgot the date, because I was feeling rather proud of myself for deciding to face, the-phobia-that-quite-possibly-is-ruining-my-life. I established in the dissertation meeting on Wednesday that it is in fact on the 26th November. AND an idea is starting to form in my head. Although it does like to fly away occasionally and leave me alone.
The only issue now is to figure out what the heck I want to do for my Science Fiction project. I have NO ideas! Seriously, I sit, looking at the module and what I have done so far and still my brain goes 'whaaaaaat??????' Need to sit down and concentrate on that one. After this weekend.
Insomnia hit me fully this week as well, mainly due to the sheer level of stress, but by Thursday it had gotten to the point that I was OVER-emotional and unable to do pretty much anything. But somehow, I managed to attend everything. And on Friday, I managed to somehow do the same, even though I was at the stage my attention span was a mere 5 seconds long and I couldn't do anything. I ended up being in bed at 9pm and slept right through till nearly 10am the next morning. This is how exciting my life gets!
I have no idea what other 'entertaining' news there is to tell you about this past week. I've not really done anything THAT exciting, that is all next week, with the 7th (25th) Birthday antics, going back to the City Which Must Not Be Named if you are called Kiran, this city being York to all my non-Kiran friends :-) and basically just being a little bit more happy than last week.
Monday, 22 October 2012
Sunday, 14 October 2012
In which Doctor Who starts to invade EVERYTHING
So, my eyes have been opened in light of reading Shakespeare's sonnets in this past week. You can interpret them all to be explicitly referring to sex, of course in the seminar, learning that words like 'All', 'Will', 'Thing' and 'nothing' refer to sexual organs led to a bit of an immature giggle for the majority of the class, myself included. But upon rereading some of the sonnets, I concluded they made a lot more sense than before we had been Informed of this.
As a side note, I managed to take the wrong book to the seminar, I took 'The Writer's Tale' instead of the actual Shakespeare text, what a fail on my part! And further proof that Doctor Who is invading my already obsessed mind. That and I was distracted by issues which are affecting my MH and which I cannot go into. Needless to say, I am under a bit of stress that I really do not need right now. BUT hopefully this will make it all easier.
Monday afternoon was spent catching up with Rhi, whom I lived with the last academic year that I was at uni. Of course, it was like the old court 15 apt 5 kitchen times, without the kitchen as we sauntered to my room, which everyone has said, looks exactly the same. And it was so nice to have a catch up. This sort of thing always reminds me that I need to try and keep in contact with a lot of people as I am well known for forgetting people. For which I can only apologise.
Spent Monday night in the kitchen with the majority of the flatmates, in which we discussed the mystery of the girl whom had been in and out of room 1 and if she was our new flat mate, at the time of writing this, no more has been seen of her. Apart from that we played Disney scene it, which was wonderful. We were supposed to be playing catchphrase at some point.... but we got distracted. THEN by the time we did play it on Tuesday night, and we where not impressed by it/got bored in 5 mins flat so went back to Scene it!
I am also FINALLY into series 3 of DR Who, I nearly had a party in celebration! Although, I don't seem to have got very far with watching it recently, I've not really been in the mood to watch it this week.
In between the dissertation work I have managed to read the play for Science fiction and Gulliver's Travels parts 1 and 4. Gulliver's Travels I found to be a challenge I really struggled to take any of it in, however the seminar on it helped me understand it.
Next week I must read- The Beggar's Opera- which I apparently forgot to buy... HOW DID I DO THAT???? Richard III, I'm actually on act 5 and I am really struggling with it, taken me 4 hours to get this far and just cannot engage with it all. And The Man in the High Castle.
And go to a dissertation meeting, which means I should probably engage in research for this a little bit more! Just watching the DVD's isn't all that helpful.
Oh and yes, I am twisting everything into something DR Who related, I've just accepted this is what is going to happen this year. And I apologise yet again to one and all who this annoys.
As a side note, I managed to take the wrong book to the seminar, I took 'The Writer's Tale' instead of the actual Shakespeare text, what a fail on my part! And further proof that Doctor Who is invading my already obsessed mind. That and I was distracted by issues which are affecting my MH and which I cannot go into. Needless to say, I am under a bit of stress that I really do not need right now. BUT hopefully this will make it all easier.
Monday afternoon was spent catching up with Rhi, whom I lived with the last academic year that I was at uni. Of course, it was like the old court 15 apt 5 kitchen times, without the kitchen as we sauntered to my room, which everyone has said, looks exactly the same. And it was so nice to have a catch up. This sort of thing always reminds me that I need to try and keep in contact with a lot of people as I am well known for forgetting people. For which I can only apologise.
Spent Monday night in the kitchen with the majority of the flatmates, in which we discussed the mystery of the girl whom had been in and out of room 1 and if she was our new flat mate, at the time of writing this, no more has been seen of her. Apart from that we played Disney scene it, which was wonderful. We were supposed to be playing catchphrase at some point.... but we got distracted. THEN by the time we did play it on Tuesday night, and we where not impressed by it/got bored in 5 mins flat so went back to Scene it!
I am also FINALLY into series 3 of DR Who, I nearly had a party in celebration! Although, I don't seem to have got very far with watching it recently, I've not really been in the mood to watch it this week.
In between the dissertation work I have managed to read the play for Science fiction and Gulliver's Travels parts 1 and 4. Gulliver's Travels I found to be a challenge I really struggled to take any of it in, however the seminar on it helped me understand it.
Next week I must read- The Beggar's Opera- which I apparently forgot to buy... HOW DID I DO THAT???? Richard III, I'm actually on act 5 and I am really struggling with it, taken me 4 hours to get this far and just cannot engage with it all. And The Man in the High Castle.
And go to a dissertation meeting, which means I should probably engage in research for this a little bit more! Just watching the DVD's isn't all that helpful.
Oh and yes, I am twisting everything into something DR Who related, I've just accepted this is what is going to happen this year. And I apologise yet again to one and all who this annoys.
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
The week in which started with me laughing at mass murder and culminated in spending Dad's money on coffee and Sunday dinner
Seriously, Titus Andronicus, the play which was studied in my Shakespeare module can only be described as VIOLENT. Which is why it is all the more concerning that I got the giggles whilst reading it... Next week we shall be studying Shakespeare's sonnets, which I am looking forward too.
My favorite quote from Titus Andronicus is from Act 3 Scene 2; 'Thou map of woe, that thus dost talk in signs.'
In other news, Monday has to have been the first day I have fully wobbled in all senses of the word. I blame lack of sleep more than anything. Because the fire alarm went off at 6:15am and I must have only been asleep for about 2 hours before then. Much to my entertainment, upon returning to to bed, I couldn't fall asleep again, so have been exhausted all day.
So yeah, the great wobble occurred, I decided I couldn't do this thing at all! However, I did not do what I threatened to do last week if I struggled with university and my nerves this past week. If you can't remmeber, I stated ' I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will' I decided that instead of that, maybe doing something constructive would help me in the long run, and it actually did! Well done Katy!
Actually, the wobble continued for the rest of the week. I ended up in tears on Wednesday evening for no reason at all. Well actually, that might be Roxy the Foxy Rover's fault for making me spend my money on her! RUDE! Well tbh I needed to get new tyres for her. nearly £300!!! THANKS CAR! (I love her really! I should probably check that she is where I left her)
Which leads to the next point- Neil and Mum and their 6 hour trip to Lincolnland. It was nice, even though I ended up getting up at about 9am for them to arrive half an hour later. At which point, we took Roxy to get these new tyres she needed then went back to my flat for my brother to waltz around Lincoln dressed as a fox, and I am apparently the crazy one in my family! It was nice to see them though so I can't really complain, not that I do complain about them, much. Do I? Oh yeah, I do! :-p
Apart from seeing my Dad on Sunday, in which I happily spent all his money, and another Friday night playing Disney monopoly/singstar I think there is very little to tell you about last week, or at least anything that doesn't involve Doctor Who.
Friday evening- Yet another amazing night care of flat 4! Although no dominoes this time, and finally getting me on singstar, for 5 seconds without the insane laughing! Well some insane laughing from me but then a bit of singing, until the song which had been chosen jumped and refused to play at all! So that didn't last long. AND we also found the proper rules for playing drinking monopoly! Sadly, we all lost interest in playing after a while so gave up after a couple of hours.
Sunday was lovely, it has been a while since I have been able to spend time with just Dad and chat to him, like we used to when we went on long walks and for coffees and stuff like that. He always has the right words. :-)
So, erm, yeah. This has been the most annoying blog I've written so far, because not much really happened, and it took a long time to write because I actually forgot!
My favorite quote from Titus Andronicus is from Act 3 Scene 2; 'Thou map of woe, that thus dost talk in signs.'
In other news, Monday has to have been the first day I have fully wobbled in all senses of the word. I blame lack of sleep more than anything. Because the fire alarm went off at 6:15am and I must have only been asleep for about 2 hours before then. Much to my entertainment, upon returning to to bed, I couldn't fall asleep again, so have been exhausted all day.
So yeah, the great wobble occurred, I decided I couldn't do this thing at all! However, I did not do what I threatened to do last week if I struggled with university and my nerves this past week. If you can't remmeber, I stated ' I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will' I decided that instead of that, maybe doing something constructive would help me in the long run, and it actually did! Well done Katy!
Actually, the wobble continued for the rest of the week. I ended up in tears on Wednesday evening for no reason at all. Well actually, that might be Roxy the Foxy Rover's fault for making me spend my money on her! RUDE! Well tbh I needed to get new tyres for her. nearly £300!!! THANKS CAR! (I love her really! I should probably check that she is where I left her)
Which leads to the next point- Neil and Mum and their 6 hour trip to Lincolnland. It was nice, even though I ended up getting up at about 9am for them to arrive half an hour later. At which point, we took Roxy to get these new tyres she needed then went back to my flat for my brother to waltz around Lincoln dressed as a fox, and I am apparently the crazy one in my family! It was nice to see them though so I can't really complain, not that I do complain about them, much. Do I? Oh yeah, I do! :-p
Apart from seeing my Dad on Sunday, in which I happily spent all his money, and another Friday night playing Disney monopoly/singstar I think there is very little to tell you about last week, or at least anything that doesn't involve Doctor Who.
Friday evening- Yet another amazing night care of flat 4! Although no dominoes this time, and finally getting me on singstar, for 5 seconds without the insane laughing! Well some insane laughing from me but then a bit of singing, until the song which had been chosen jumped and refused to play at all! So that didn't last long. AND we also found the proper rules for playing drinking monopoly! Sadly, we all lost interest in playing after a while so gave up after a couple of hours.
Sunday was lovely, it has been a while since I have been able to spend time with just Dad and chat to him, like we used to when we went on long walks and for coffees and stuff like that. He always has the right words. :-)
So, erm, yeah. This has been the most annoying blog I've written so far, because not much really happened, and it took a long time to write because I actually forgot!
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