I have to confess that this has been the first week that I have actively had to fight with my mental health. And, I'm ashamed to say, I nearly let it overwhelm me. I lost complete confidence in my ability to be a human being and just didn't want to deal with any of the issues. I nearly engaged in the old behaviour of ignoring the issues and hoping they would go away. However something made me think 'No Katy, don't go back there, do you really want to do all that?' To which my braincells responded 'Nah, you don't, come on get on with it.'
I established the reason that my MH decided it wanted to take a brief venture away from my life. Simply, I was dealing with a lot of minor stressful situations outside of my academic life, which in turn just all built up until it got to the point on Tuesday that I was on the verge of just completely breaking down.
Oh, ok then, I did, I cried to myself. And, talked to many people who helped me deal with the situations, one by one. And now they are all sorted. Or at least, they are as sorted as is to be expected with things that take time to sort out.
ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF THE WOE! Onwards and upwards with the positivity...
My dissertation suddenly decided to declare it's structure to me, because obviously dissertations do this, they talk to you! Well ok, no they don't but I left the thoughts of structure alone for a few days and when I woke up prior to dissertation meeting on Wednesday the thought 'oooo yes, split it by masulintiy and femininity' occurred. Then in the meeting 'The Doctor's sexuality/sexuality in general' also appeared. Sudden faith has been restored. Now I am currently on a mission to write this 1500 words I need to for the 2nd of next month. At the time of writing this, it is a mere 52 words long! And half a a4 page of notes. Got two more episodes of series three to watch and then I can get on with it.
I also signed up for a presentation, and promptly forgot the date, because I was feeling rather proud of myself for deciding to face, the-phobia-that-quite-possibly-is-ruining-my-life. I established in the dissertation meeting on Wednesday that it is in fact on the 26th November. AND an idea is starting to form in my head. Although it does like to fly away occasionally and leave me alone.
The only issue now is to figure out what the heck I want to do for my Science Fiction project. I have NO ideas! Seriously, I sit, looking at the module and what I have done so far and still my brain goes 'whaaaaaat??????' Need to sit down and concentrate on that one. After this weekend.
Insomnia hit me fully this week as well, mainly due to the sheer level of stress, but by Thursday it had gotten to the point that I was OVER-emotional and unable to do pretty much anything. But somehow, I managed to attend everything. And on Friday, I managed to somehow do the same, even though I was at the stage my attention span was a mere 5 seconds long and I couldn't do anything. I ended up being in bed at 9pm and slept right through till nearly 10am the next morning. This is how exciting my life gets!
I have no idea what other 'entertaining' news there is to tell you about this past week. I've not really done anything THAT exciting, that is all next week, with the 7th (25th) Birthday antics, going back to the City Which Must Not Be Named if you are called Kiran, this city being York to all my non-Kiran friends :-) and basically just being a little bit more happy than last week.
No comments:
Post a Comment