So, good points to this week.
1- I finished my Shakespeare essay early! Although it was slightly over the word count, but I have managed to cut it down to be under the upper word count limit.
2- Cinema to see Nativity! 2 With Jasia and Chrissie.
3- I handed my essay in a whole day early- never done that before, and probably never will again!
4- Late night trip to Grimbsy and back to see the shooting stars that occurred on Thursday.
5- Officially taken the first steps needed to get over this phobia of presentations! Working on it with my study coach in the new year.
6- Applied to do a MA in Lincoln next year.
Bad points to this week;
1- Between Sunday and finally collapsing with exhaustion on Wednesday I had a delightful 8 hours sleep. This sleep pattern of over and under sleeping continued for the rest of the week.
2- I have realised just exactly how far behind with my dissertation I actually am and have been in 'blind panic' mode for the past week or so.
3- I had to ask for an extension on my SF and Georgian. It isn't for lack of trying, its the lack of concentration and sleep that are really starting to get to me.
4- I broke (read bit) all my nails so they are really short again!
5- I am really failing at keeping up to date with posting in here weekly, this blog is over a week late, it should have been posted on the 16th, instead, HAPPY CHRISTMAS. Therefore. One of my new years resolutions is to try and get back on top of it. I'm going to set a specific time on a Sunday evening to sit and write it.
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Thursday, 13 December 2012
The lovely end to the semester!
Sitting in the floor in a seminar, around a Christmas table cloth with food and wine whilst also listening to people in the seminar room next door singing christmas carols is both really surreal and a really, really nice way to finish a semester.
Yes, I did it, got through the first semester, now to just do the actually essays!
So week 11, was a bit of an odd week, because there was very little being taught. Mainly because it was the end of the semester. And I was actually a little sad that the SF module is over. I loved every minute of that module, even when looking at the texts that I did not enjoy. Not something I say oftern.
Also, the MA talk happened on Thursday. The word presentation was repeated a lot. As was the words 'I need to get over this phobia now!' Mainly because this MA is something I really, really want to do and I am a bit sick of allowing this irrational phobia to rule my life.
And that folks, is my plan for the new year. Get over this bloody phobia.
The weekend also saw the flat having our christmas dinner, which was a nice way to spend our last afternoon as a flat and what little free time I now have until christmas day istelf. For it is the season of essays, essays and more essays!
Speaking of which... I should go do some...
Yes, I did it, got through the first semester, now to just do the actually essays!
So week 11, was a bit of an odd week, because there was very little being taught. Mainly because it was the end of the semester. And I was actually a little sad that the SF module is over. I loved every minute of that module, even when looking at the texts that I did not enjoy. Not something I say oftern.
Also, the MA talk happened on Thursday. The word presentation was repeated a lot. As was the words 'I need to get over this phobia now!' Mainly because this MA is something I really, really want to do and I am a bit sick of allowing this irrational phobia to rule my life.
And that folks, is my plan for the new year. Get over this bloody phobia.
The weekend also saw the flat having our christmas dinner, which was a nice way to spend our last afternoon as a flat and what little free time I now have until christmas day istelf. For it is the season of essays, essays and more essays!
Speaking of which... I should go do some...
Friday, 7 December 2012
Two for the price of one!
I'm doing two weeks of blogging in one, simply because I didn't have the time to do the one for the week before.
So here be week 9- The week of the trip home to York and all that jazz.
So York was fun. I did no uni work, as usual. Instead I got highly stressed driving up the A1, being surrounded by lorries. Loads of lorries. About a million or 10. One of those two figures I forget!
Returning to Lincoln I was yet again surrounded by a million or 10 lorries. I blame this on the fact I travelled too and from Lincoln in the middle of the day, which always seems like a sensible idea at the time. And never is. But then again, it is the A1 so...
I am also known as the cause of many broken washers in my family right now, well OK I'm not, but I returned to the story of my aunt, grandma and mothers broken/faulty washers. It reminded me of the time that I went from broken heating at uni to broking heating in York. Not fun.
Apart from that, week 9 was a week of reading nothing but Shakespeare and gender stuff in preparation for my presentation
And here is week 10- The week of Shakespeare, insomnia and panic attacks
Presentation did not happen. Because, well I freaked out. I got to the seminar fully intending to do this presentation, I'd prepared it to the best that I could (although I did finish at 4am.) I even went to the seminar intending to do it, but my brain just let the fear kick in which meant that it just did not happen. I panicked a lot, and spent the entire seminar outside controlling a panic attack. First one I have had like that for ages.
And this loss of confidence, pretty much set the tone of the rest of the week. Spent most of the night being unable to sleep and listening to my brain telling me that I was a bit of a failure with university work, that I was going to fail and I might as well quit while I was ahead.
This ladies and gentlemen, is what my brain likes to do a lot, it hates me! That and exhaustion. I think I averaged about 4 hours sleep a night this week, if I was lucky.
However, as I do try to not be so down all the time, so here are some positives;
On Monday and Tuesday Vicky and myself went to see some Shakespeare plays that some drama students at our uni put on. We saw Troilus and Cressida, which is AMAZING! I understood a lot of the references that had been made in it. And then we saw A Midsummer Nights Dream, which was also good. Glad I went.
I also further developed some essay ideas that had been hiding away in the back of my head for SF and Georgian.
Also, I ended up back in York Saturday/Sunday to pick up some stuff I needed for an essay, and nearly blinded myself in the process of driving down the A57!
So, yeah that is all I remember from these two weeks, I need to get back into the habit of writing these on Sundays again!
So here be week 9- The week of the trip home to York and all that jazz.
So York was fun. I did no uni work, as usual. Instead I got highly stressed driving up the A1, being surrounded by lorries. Loads of lorries. About a million or 10. One of those two figures I forget!
Returning to Lincoln I was yet again surrounded by a million or 10 lorries. I blame this on the fact I travelled too and from Lincoln in the middle of the day, which always seems like a sensible idea at the time. And never is. But then again, it is the A1 so...
I am also known as the cause of many broken washers in my family right now, well OK I'm not, but I returned to the story of my aunt, grandma and mothers broken/faulty washers. It reminded me of the time that I went from broken heating at uni to broking heating in York. Not fun.
Apart from that, week 9 was a week of reading nothing but Shakespeare and gender stuff in preparation for my presentation
And here is week 10- The week of Shakespeare, insomnia and panic attacks
Presentation did not happen. Because, well I freaked out. I got to the seminar fully intending to do this presentation, I'd prepared it to the best that I could (although I did finish at 4am.) I even went to the seminar intending to do it, but my brain just let the fear kick in which meant that it just did not happen. I panicked a lot, and spent the entire seminar outside controlling a panic attack. First one I have had like that for ages.
And this loss of confidence, pretty much set the tone of the rest of the week. Spent most of the night being unable to sleep and listening to my brain telling me that I was a bit of a failure with university work, that I was going to fail and I might as well quit while I was ahead.
This ladies and gentlemen, is what my brain likes to do a lot, it hates me! That and exhaustion. I think I averaged about 4 hours sleep a night this week, if I was lucky.
However, as I do try to not be so down all the time, so here are some positives;
On Monday and Tuesday Vicky and myself went to see some Shakespeare plays that some drama students at our uni put on. We saw Troilus and Cressida, which is AMAZING! I understood a lot of the references that had been made in it. And then we saw A Midsummer Nights Dream, which was also good. Glad I went.
I also further developed some essay ideas that had been hiding away in the back of my head for SF and Georgian.
Also, I ended up back in York Saturday/Sunday to pick up some stuff I needed for an essay, and nearly blinded myself in the process of driving down the A57!
So, yeah that is all I remember from these two weeks, I need to get back into the habit of writing these on Sundays again!
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
When I get mad, I get Yorkshire...
And by that I mean, my Yorkshire accent becomes so broad it is unbelievable. Also I am apparently scary when I am mad.
But I have not been this annoyed for such a long time. All because of my computer and Iansyst failing me on every level possible. Yet, I feel that as most of you know the story behind this, and the fact that it is now all resolved and I have my PC back, that I should maybe not share this story with you all again. That and I also feel that I should let the issue float away into the sunset. That and I'm sick of being angry ALL the time.
In other news- this week has to have been the first week that the 'I can't be arsed with uni' train of thought has fully kicked in. I currently want to spend all my time asleep instead of doing something constructive. Of course, this could just be my natural reaction to the realisation that I have lots of work to do and that third year is hard work, kicking in. That and I feel exhausted all the time through lack of sleep. I also know that everyone in third year is feeling this way too right now, especially if Thursday's Sci-Fi seminar was anything to go by! But I am honestly wondering if maybe the Depression is trying to creep into my life again. I need to get through this, I can get through this. I just need to get on with something uni related. But sometimes this is easier said than done.
However, the trip to London on Saturday also cheered me up. So thank you for the trip university! It was wonderful, and London is somewhere I actually enjoy visiting, I have not seen enough of it at all! But now I can tick off a visit to the British Museum, the Globe, a walk past the Houses of Parliament and walking down Embankment to the list of things I have now done. Need to go see more at some point. On my list of things to do.
The trip also seems to have inspired some desire to do uni work, so have spent the majority of Sunday working on the presentation that I am doing on the 26th of this month. And yes, I am panicking about it now, quite a lot actually! BUT I do want to do it and say I faced this massive issue.
And next week involves, a trip to York for sad times indeed, prepping for the presentation and not freaking out at all, well, a tiny bit!
In other news- this week has to have been the first week that the 'I can't be arsed with uni' train of thought has fully kicked in. I currently want to spend all my time asleep instead of doing something constructive. Of course, this could just be my natural reaction to the realisation that I have lots of work to do and that third year is hard work, kicking in. That and I feel exhausted all the time through lack of sleep. I also know that everyone in third year is feeling this way too right now, especially if Thursday's Sci-Fi seminar was anything to go by! But I am honestly wondering if maybe the Depression is trying to creep into my life again. I need to get through this, I can get through this. I just need to get on with something uni related. But sometimes this is easier said than done.
However, the trip to London on Saturday also cheered me up. So thank you for the trip university! It was wonderful, and London is somewhere I actually enjoy visiting, I have not seen enough of it at all! But now I can tick off a visit to the British Museum, the Globe, a walk past the Houses of Parliament and walking down Embankment to the list of things I have now done. Need to go see more at some point. On my list of things to do.
The trip also seems to have inspired some desire to do uni work, so have spent the majority of Sunday working on the presentation that I am doing on the 26th of this month. And yes, I am panicking about it now, quite a lot actually! BUT I do want to do it and say I faced this massive issue.
And next week involves, a trip to York for sad times indeed, prepping for the presentation and not freaking out at all, well, a tiny bit!
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Have a short blog
This week has been stressful for many reasons. Mainly due to Science Fiction- I cannot think of a topic. Or rather, I had a topic that was so vague that I could not get focused on it at all. However, I did arrange a meeting with my tutor for Friday to discuss the idea I had and have successfully got an argument. I'm arguing in favour of fantasy literature as a legitimate genre of literature, how it is related to the science fiction novel in terms of themes and if they can actually be separated or if they are actually blurred.
The other major stress of the week was trying to sort out my getting my computer back. It has been in Cambridge since August. For a health check, which was supposed to take a month at the most.... Last time I checked, November was not the month after August, unless the whole world is lying to me!
So yeah, cue ANOTHER week of calling them to sort it out. Although I have no faith in a company that doesn't feel the need to tell a customer when the computer is ready to be returned and had been for a month. DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW TO CONTACT PEOPLE?
On the plus side, it should be coming on Monday afternoon. Hopefully. Needless to say, something went wrong with delivery, but that is a story/rant for my next blog.
Other positives, rather oddly, include getting the Georgian literature questions and actually wanting to do about half the questions on first reading of them. always a good thing. And the Shakespeare idea seems quite content with itself, until I actually start working on it next week.
Which means, expect next weeks blog to involve a rant about Iansyst, a description of why I either hated or loved London on the Saturday and how the dissertation meeting went.
The other major stress of the week was trying to sort out my getting my computer back. It has been in Cambridge since August. For a health check, which was supposed to take a month at the most.... Last time I checked, November was not the month after August, unless the whole world is lying to me!
So yeah, cue ANOTHER week of calling them to sort it out. Although I have no faith in a company that doesn't feel the need to tell a customer when the computer is ready to be returned and had been for a month. DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW TO CONTACT PEOPLE?
On the plus side, it should be coming on Monday afternoon. Hopefully. Needless to say, something went wrong with delivery, but that is a story/rant for my next blog.
Other positives, rather oddly, include getting the Georgian literature questions and actually wanting to do about half the questions on first reading of them. always a good thing. And the Shakespeare idea seems quite content with itself, until I actually start working on it next week.
Which means, expect next weeks blog to involve a rant about Iansyst, a description of why I either hated or loved London on the Saturday and how the dissertation meeting went.
Thursday, 8 November 2012
The week in which many odd things happened.
So the main things that happened that have been odd from week 6 of university;
So- as some of you no doubt know, I have an auto-immune condition and have had it since 2010. This means that whenever I get ill with something like a cold, I end up having it for over a week and end up with at least one day in bed sulking about my cold/sleeping.
This time however, I seem to have gotten over this cold in the space of 4 days. Which led me to conclude my immune system has returned slightly. Yey! But this is all good because it saved the worry of 'HOW AM I GOING TO WRITE 1500 WORDS WHEN I'M SO ILL???' panic that I thought would occur.
So, yes, 1500 word dissertation submission that was due in on the 2nd- I finished it on the 31st, 2 days before it was due! And yeah, alright, I did saunter off from the original intention of the essay, which was to do a tv review of the first 3 series of Doctor Who. It kind of mutated into 1778(ish) words of what I want to do with the material I have got so far from Dr Who. Thank goodness it didn't have an upper word count!
But, I must confess the essay was not emailed into university until the early hours of the day of the deadline, because I was still editing it. But I'd decided to leave the essay alone until Thursday evening to check it made sense, knowing me it probably still doesn't, yet this isn't the point! The point is that it is handed in and now I can shift my focus to alternate between all my modules. Which shall be discussed later on.
And finally- Tuesday night, also known as Pre-Halloween flat party. Which was, for a number of reasons completely and utterly bizzare. Now don't get me wrong, it was a good night and one that I will remember university for. But being a person who is not supposed to consume very much alcohol, I ended up being the only sober in the flat. Or, actually, it would be better to describe myself as the only 'not drunk' in the flat.
Firstly it was bizzare because, halfway through the night we had an invasion of Zombies! It was quite hilarious, they came into the kitchen in packs of two or three. So we didn't realise how many people where in the flat until the kitchen was full of zombies. Now our flat has a big kitchen, so that is a lot of people! So many, that Sars and myself sauntered into the hallway to lock our rooms. Thankfully though, the zombie invasion was a short one and they all left after 5 minutes for another party somewhere.
Secondly, I had the most bizzare heart to heart with one of my housemate's who was so drunk he actually cannot remember the fact we had this heart to heart. It was quite an interesting night. We ended up going out for a walk to have this discussion in private, which ended up in mass declarations of how awesome I apparently am. And the repeated hugs. I nearly died from being hugged to death. Needless to say the going outside, which I did in part to sober up said housemate didn't work as they proceeded to carry on drinking before vanishing into their room in the middle of the night and to not be seen again until late the next day with a hangover.
Finally, I ended up having a morbid conversation with someone about the fact that when we die, we will now leave an imprint of ourselves on the internet for future generations to read and have a glimpse at. Which, is a topic for another blog, but it was an odd thought and I did ponder why I have never thought about this before.
So yeah, bizzare week all round.
Here's to next week, in which lots of visits are occurring. Ok, 2...
- I recovered from a cold quickly.
- I actually finished something before the deadline.
- Tuesday night turned into a 'story book' night.
So- as some of you no doubt know, I have an auto-immune condition and have had it since 2010. This means that whenever I get ill with something like a cold, I end up having it for over a week and end up with at least one day in bed sulking about my cold/sleeping.
This time however, I seem to have gotten over this cold in the space of 4 days. Which led me to conclude my immune system has returned slightly. Yey! But this is all good because it saved the worry of 'HOW AM I GOING TO WRITE 1500 WORDS WHEN I'M SO ILL???' panic that I thought would occur.
So, yes, 1500 word dissertation submission that was due in on the 2nd- I finished it on the 31st, 2 days before it was due! And yeah, alright, I did saunter off from the original intention of the essay, which was to do a tv review of the first 3 series of Doctor Who. It kind of mutated into 1778(ish) words of what I want to do with the material I have got so far from Dr Who. Thank goodness it didn't have an upper word count!
But, I must confess the essay was not emailed into university until the early hours of the day of the deadline, because I was still editing it. But I'd decided to leave the essay alone until Thursday evening to check it made sense, knowing me it probably still doesn't, yet this isn't the point! The point is that it is handed in and now I can shift my focus to alternate between all my modules. Which shall be discussed later on.
And finally- Tuesday night, also known as Pre-Halloween flat party. Which was, for a number of reasons completely and utterly bizzare. Now don't get me wrong, it was a good night and one that I will remember university for. But being a person who is not supposed to consume very much alcohol, I ended up being the only sober in the flat. Or, actually, it would be better to describe myself as the only 'not drunk' in the flat.
Firstly it was bizzare because, halfway through the night we had an invasion of Zombies! It was quite hilarious, they came into the kitchen in packs of two or three. So we didn't realise how many people where in the flat until the kitchen was full of zombies. Now our flat has a big kitchen, so that is a lot of people! So many, that Sars and myself sauntered into the hallway to lock our rooms. Thankfully though, the zombie invasion was a short one and they all left after 5 minutes for another party somewhere.
Secondly, I had the most bizzare heart to heart with one of my housemate's who was so drunk he actually cannot remember the fact we had this heart to heart. It was quite an interesting night. We ended up going out for a walk to have this discussion in private, which ended up in mass declarations of how awesome I apparently am. And the repeated hugs. I nearly died from being hugged to death. Needless to say the going outside, which I did in part to sober up said housemate didn't work as they proceeded to carry on drinking before vanishing into their room in the middle of the night and to not be seen again until late the next day with a hangover.
Finally, I ended up having a morbid conversation with someone about the fact that when we die, we will now leave an imprint of ourselves on the internet for future generations to read and have a glimpse at. Which, is a topic for another blog, but it was an odd thought and I did ponder why I have never thought about this before.
So yeah, bizzare week all round.
Here's to next week, in which lots of visits are occurring. Ok, 2...
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Roxy acts up whilst I act my mental age!
So here is a rarity and possibly the most pointless/uninteresting fact to start a blog with for anyone who is avidly reading these words- This blog actually started out on paper hand written.
Yea not even that exciting in is? The only reason that it has started this was is because it is 11:30pm on Friday 27th October and I happen to be in a snowified York for the weekend. I'm not sure how much will be handwritten because my wrist is going through an 'I hate Katy' phase which means I can't write much. But yes, that isn't the main reason
^^ Turns out that this is where I wrote up to with before my wrist died\the cold descended upon me and I forgot about my blog again until 30 seconds ago.
I am now about to answer the questions you have probably not asked of some of the things I said above.
WHY WAS I NOT USING A COMPUTER TO TYPE?
Well, I'd rather brilliantly left my computer in Lincoln. Both of them. Because that is how special I was being on Friday. To be fair though I was slightly stressed out by Foxy Roxy, whom decided to not work at all on Friday. I was severely unimpressed by this.
I'd decided that I'd go get my car on Friday at 4pm after my seminar instead of waiting till 6 to set off. It is quite a walk to my car from campus. Got to her, got in and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing, at all. Cue me shouting at my car, because obviously that works! Once I'd gotten over shouting at the car, I decided that maybe I should call the AA, seen as I have been a member since before I was born. But in a fit of brilliance I had left my purse, with the AA card in it, in my room at uni.
An hour later and returning to the car I managed to ring the AA, whom promptly attempted to fix my car. Failed because the blot had seized and instead valiantly charged the battery to the point I could return to York to get my battery fixed.
You would think at this point I would have established that maybe I should have stayed in Lincoln for the weekend and gotten my car fixed in Lincoln.
Nope, I decided I wanted to get home, and get home I should. Even though I didn't even know if I had enough petrol and was told to not stall the car or turn the engine off. That was a highly entertaining drive back to York, made it one piece and only nearly stalled the car once.
And in a massive anti-climax to that story. All I needed was a new battery for the car. Which I didn't have to pay for WIN!
So apart from car dramas, this was also the week in which I have this special event called my birthday, which to the surprise of those who didn't know, I share with the siblings. They happen to be 2 years older than me. Which means, no matter how old I feel, I know of two people who are always going to be older than me :-)
So yes, I turned 7(25) on the 24th October, which of course meant it was time to party. And party in 'mature' style I did the night before at Playzone. With several good friends. It was a good night. Although I'm sure we all felt under dressed when the bus full of onesie wearing people turned up! Still it made the night fun.
My birthday proceeded to occur with being rudely awoken by my sister, then mother, which was ok really. And then sauntering to Costa with Lauren and Emma for a giant Bourbon and coffee/hot chocolate before Emma left. The Lauren and I proceeded to go up to the Cathedral. Before returning to the flat to discover that my flatmates had decorated the flat for my birthday and giving me presents (which I was not expecting!) I then proceeded to spend the night waltzing around the flat in my cat onesie!
Needless to say, very little uni work got done this week. Which I should probably be worried about given that I have 1500 words due in this coming week!
Sadly I have ended this week with a cold which is not fun. I swear I must complain loads about them, so apologies to any and all who will get annoyed with my 'cold woe' tales. I know they are not very exciting. It was also annoying driving back to Lincoln with a blocked nose. Because I wanted to sneeze all the time.
(Just a heads up if you have read to here- This blog was finished in October, but not published till a week after I finished writing it, not sure why to be honest.)
Yea not even that exciting in is? The only reason that it has started this was is because it is 11:30pm on Friday 27th October and I happen to be in a snowified York for the weekend. I'm not sure how much will be handwritten because my wrist is going through an 'I hate Katy' phase which means I can't write much. But yes, that isn't the main reason
^^ Turns out that this is where I wrote up to with before my wrist died\the cold descended upon me and I forgot about my blog again until 30 seconds ago.
I am now about to answer the questions you have probably not asked of some of the things I said above.
WHY WAS I NOT USING A COMPUTER TO TYPE?
Well, I'd rather brilliantly left my computer in Lincoln. Both of them. Because that is how special I was being on Friday. To be fair though I was slightly stressed out by Foxy Roxy, whom decided to not work at all on Friday. I was severely unimpressed by this.
I'd decided that I'd go get my car on Friday at 4pm after my seminar instead of waiting till 6 to set off. It is quite a walk to my car from campus. Got to her, got in and turned the key in the ignition. Nothing, at all. Cue me shouting at my car, because obviously that works! Once I'd gotten over shouting at the car, I decided that maybe I should call the AA, seen as I have been a member since before I was born. But in a fit of brilliance I had left my purse, with the AA card in it, in my room at uni.
An hour later and returning to the car I managed to ring the AA, whom promptly attempted to fix my car. Failed because the blot had seized and instead valiantly charged the battery to the point I could return to York to get my battery fixed.
You would think at this point I would have established that maybe I should have stayed in Lincoln for the weekend and gotten my car fixed in Lincoln.
Nope, I decided I wanted to get home, and get home I should. Even though I didn't even know if I had enough petrol and was told to not stall the car or turn the engine off. That was a highly entertaining drive back to York, made it one piece and only nearly stalled the car once.
And in a massive anti-climax to that story. All I needed was a new battery for the car. Which I didn't have to pay for WIN!
So apart from car dramas, this was also the week in which I have this special event called my birthday, which to the surprise of those who didn't know, I share with the siblings. They happen to be 2 years older than me. Which means, no matter how old I feel, I know of two people who are always going to be older than me :-)
So yes, I turned 7(25) on the 24th October, which of course meant it was time to party. And party in 'mature' style I did the night before at Playzone. With several good friends. It was a good night. Although I'm sure we all felt under dressed when the bus full of onesie wearing people turned up! Still it made the night fun.
My birthday proceeded to occur with being rudely awoken by my sister, then mother, which was ok really. And then sauntering to Costa with Lauren and Emma for a giant Bourbon and coffee/hot chocolate before Emma left. The Lauren and I proceeded to go up to the Cathedral. Before returning to the flat to discover that my flatmates had decorated the flat for my birthday and giving me presents (which I was not expecting!) I then proceeded to spend the night waltzing around the flat in my cat onesie!
Needless to say, very little uni work got done this week. Which I should probably be worried about given that I have 1500 words due in this coming week!
Sadly I have ended this week with a cold which is not fun. I swear I must complain loads about them, so apologies to any and all who will get annoyed with my 'cold woe' tales. I know they are not very exciting. It was also annoying driving back to Lincoln with a blocked nose. Because I wanted to sneeze all the time.
(Just a heads up if you have read to here- This blog was finished in October, but not published till a week after I finished writing it, not sure why to be honest.)
Monday, 22 October 2012
Waving a fond farewell to confidence and sleep
I have to confess that this has been the first week that I have actively had to fight with my mental health. And, I'm ashamed to say, I nearly let it overwhelm me. I lost complete confidence in my ability to be a human being and just didn't want to deal with any of the issues. I nearly engaged in the old behaviour of ignoring the issues and hoping they would go away. However something made me think 'No Katy, don't go back there, do you really want to do all that?' To which my braincells responded 'Nah, you don't, come on get on with it.'
I established the reason that my MH decided it wanted to take a brief venture away from my life. Simply, I was dealing with a lot of minor stressful situations outside of my academic life, which in turn just all built up until it got to the point on Tuesday that I was on the verge of just completely breaking down.
Oh, ok then, I did, I cried to myself. And, talked to many people who helped me deal with the situations, one by one. And now they are all sorted. Or at least, they are as sorted as is to be expected with things that take time to sort out.
ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF THE WOE! Onwards and upwards with the positivity...
My dissertation suddenly decided to declare it's structure to me, because obviously dissertations do this, they talk to you! Well ok, no they don't but I left the thoughts of structure alone for a few days and when I woke up prior to dissertation meeting on Wednesday the thought 'oooo yes, split it by masulintiy and femininity' occurred. Then in the meeting 'The Doctor's sexuality/sexuality in general' also appeared. Sudden faith has been restored. Now I am currently on a mission to write this 1500 words I need to for the 2nd of next month. At the time of writing this, it is a mere 52 words long! And half a a4 page of notes. Got two more episodes of series three to watch and then I can get on with it.
I also signed up for a presentation, and promptly forgot the date, because I was feeling rather proud of myself for deciding to face, the-phobia-that-quite-possibly-is-ruining-my-life. I established in the dissertation meeting on Wednesday that it is in fact on the 26th November. AND an idea is starting to form in my head. Although it does like to fly away occasionally and leave me alone.
The only issue now is to figure out what the heck I want to do for my Science Fiction project. I have NO ideas! Seriously, I sit, looking at the module and what I have done so far and still my brain goes 'whaaaaaat??????' Need to sit down and concentrate on that one. After this weekend.
Insomnia hit me fully this week as well, mainly due to the sheer level of stress, but by Thursday it had gotten to the point that I was OVER-emotional and unable to do pretty much anything. But somehow, I managed to attend everything. And on Friday, I managed to somehow do the same, even though I was at the stage my attention span was a mere 5 seconds long and I couldn't do anything. I ended up being in bed at 9pm and slept right through till nearly 10am the next morning. This is how exciting my life gets!
I have no idea what other 'entertaining' news there is to tell you about this past week. I've not really done anything THAT exciting, that is all next week, with the 7th (25th) Birthday antics, going back to the City Which Must Not Be Named if you are called Kiran, this city being York to all my non-Kiran friends :-) and basically just being a little bit more happy than last week.
I established the reason that my MH decided it wanted to take a brief venture away from my life. Simply, I was dealing with a lot of minor stressful situations outside of my academic life, which in turn just all built up until it got to the point on Tuesday that I was on the verge of just completely breaking down.
Oh, ok then, I did, I cried to myself. And, talked to many people who helped me deal with the situations, one by one. And now they are all sorted. Or at least, they are as sorted as is to be expected with things that take time to sort out.
ANYWAY, ENOUGH OF THE WOE! Onwards and upwards with the positivity...
My dissertation suddenly decided to declare it's structure to me, because obviously dissertations do this, they talk to you! Well ok, no they don't but I left the thoughts of structure alone for a few days and when I woke up prior to dissertation meeting on Wednesday the thought 'oooo yes, split it by masulintiy and femininity' occurred. Then in the meeting 'The Doctor's sexuality/sexuality in general' also appeared. Sudden faith has been restored. Now I am currently on a mission to write this 1500 words I need to for the 2nd of next month. At the time of writing this, it is a mere 52 words long! And half a a4 page of notes. Got two more episodes of series three to watch and then I can get on with it.
I also signed up for a presentation, and promptly forgot the date, because I was feeling rather proud of myself for deciding to face, the-phobia-that-quite-possibly-is-ruining-my-life. I established in the dissertation meeting on Wednesday that it is in fact on the 26th November. AND an idea is starting to form in my head. Although it does like to fly away occasionally and leave me alone.
The only issue now is to figure out what the heck I want to do for my Science Fiction project. I have NO ideas! Seriously, I sit, looking at the module and what I have done so far and still my brain goes 'whaaaaaat??????' Need to sit down and concentrate on that one. After this weekend.
Insomnia hit me fully this week as well, mainly due to the sheer level of stress, but by Thursday it had gotten to the point that I was OVER-emotional and unable to do pretty much anything. But somehow, I managed to attend everything. And on Friday, I managed to somehow do the same, even though I was at the stage my attention span was a mere 5 seconds long and I couldn't do anything. I ended up being in bed at 9pm and slept right through till nearly 10am the next morning. This is how exciting my life gets!
I have no idea what other 'entertaining' news there is to tell you about this past week. I've not really done anything THAT exciting, that is all next week, with the 7th (25th) Birthday antics, going back to the City Which Must Not Be Named if you are called Kiran, this city being York to all my non-Kiran friends :-) and basically just being a little bit more happy than last week.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
In which Doctor Who starts to invade EVERYTHING
So, my eyes have been opened in light of reading Shakespeare's sonnets in this past week. You can interpret them all to be explicitly referring to sex, of course in the seminar, learning that words like 'All', 'Will', 'Thing' and 'nothing' refer to sexual organs led to a bit of an immature giggle for the majority of the class, myself included. But upon rereading some of the sonnets, I concluded they made a lot more sense than before we had been Informed of this.
As a side note, I managed to take the wrong book to the seminar, I took 'The Writer's Tale' instead of the actual Shakespeare text, what a fail on my part! And further proof that Doctor Who is invading my already obsessed mind. That and I was distracted by issues which are affecting my MH and which I cannot go into. Needless to say, I am under a bit of stress that I really do not need right now. BUT hopefully this will make it all easier.
Monday afternoon was spent catching up with Rhi, whom I lived with the last academic year that I was at uni. Of course, it was like the old court 15 apt 5 kitchen times, without the kitchen as we sauntered to my room, which everyone has said, looks exactly the same. And it was so nice to have a catch up. This sort of thing always reminds me that I need to try and keep in contact with a lot of people as I am well known for forgetting people. For which I can only apologise.
Spent Monday night in the kitchen with the majority of the flatmates, in which we discussed the mystery of the girl whom had been in and out of room 1 and if she was our new flat mate, at the time of writing this, no more has been seen of her. Apart from that we played Disney scene it, which was wonderful. We were supposed to be playing catchphrase at some point.... but we got distracted. THEN by the time we did play it on Tuesday night, and we where not impressed by it/got bored in 5 mins flat so went back to Scene it!
I am also FINALLY into series 3 of DR Who, I nearly had a party in celebration! Although, I don't seem to have got very far with watching it recently, I've not really been in the mood to watch it this week.
In between the dissertation work I have managed to read the play for Science fiction and Gulliver's Travels parts 1 and 4. Gulliver's Travels I found to be a challenge I really struggled to take any of it in, however the seminar on it helped me understand it.
Next week I must read- The Beggar's Opera- which I apparently forgot to buy... HOW DID I DO THAT???? Richard III, I'm actually on act 5 and I am really struggling with it, taken me 4 hours to get this far and just cannot engage with it all. And The Man in the High Castle.
And go to a dissertation meeting, which means I should probably engage in research for this a little bit more! Just watching the DVD's isn't all that helpful.
Oh and yes, I am twisting everything into something DR Who related, I've just accepted this is what is going to happen this year. And I apologise yet again to one and all who this annoys.
As a side note, I managed to take the wrong book to the seminar, I took 'The Writer's Tale' instead of the actual Shakespeare text, what a fail on my part! And further proof that Doctor Who is invading my already obsessed mind. That and I was distracted by issues which are affecting my MH and which I cannot go into. Needless to say, I am under a bit of stress that I really do not need right now. BUT hopefully this will make it all easier.
Monday afternoon was spent catching up with Rhi, whom I lived with the last academic year that I was at uni. Of course, it was like the old court 15 apt 5 kitchen times, without the kitchen as we sauntered to my room, which everyone has said, looks exactly the same. And it was so nice to have a catch up. This sort of thing always reminds me that I need to try and keep in contact with a lot of people as I am well known for forgetting people. For which I can only apologise.
Spent Monday night in the kitchen with the majority of the flatmates, in which we discussed the mystery of the girl whom had been in and out of room 1 and if she was our new flat mate, at the time of writing this, no more has been seen of her. Apart from that we played Disney scene it, which was wonderful. We were supposed to be playing catchphrase at some point.... but we got distracted. THEN by the time we did play it on Tuesday night, and we where not impressed by it/got bored in 5 mins flat so went back to Scene it!
I am also FINALLY into series 3 of DR Who, I nearly had a party in celebration! Although, I don't seem to have got very far with watching it recently, I've not really been in the mood to watch it this week.
In between the dissertation work I have managed to read the play for Science fiction and Gulliver's Travels parts 1 and 4. Gulliver's Travels I found to be a challenge I really struggled to take any of it in, however the seminar on it helped me understand it.
Next week I must read- The Beggar's Opera- which I apparently forgot to buy... HOW DID I DO THAT???? Richard III, I'm actually on act 5 and I am really struggling with it, taken me 4 hours to get this far and just cannot engage with it all. And The Man in the High Castle.
And go to a dissertation meeting, which means I should probably engage in research for this a little bit more! Just watching the DVD's isn't all that helpful.
Oh and yes, I am twisting everything into something DR Who related, I've just accepted this is what is going to happen this year. And I apologise yet again to one and all who this annoys.
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
The week in which started with me laughing at mass murder and culminated in spending Dad's money on coffee and Sunday dinner
Seriously, Titus Andronicus, the play which was studied in my Shakespeare module can only be described as VIOLENT. Which is why it is all the more concerning that I got the giggles whilst reading it... Next week we shall be studying Shakespeare's sonnets, which I am looking forward too.
My favorite quote from Titus Andronicus is from Act 3 Scene 2; 'Thou map of woe, that thus dost talk in signs.'
In other news, Monday has to have been the first day I have fully wobbled in all senses of the word. I blame lack of sleep more than anything. Because the fire alarm went off at 6:15am and I must have only been asleep for about 2 hours before then. Much to my entertainment, upon returning to to bed, I couldn't fall asleep again, so have been exhausted all day.
So yeah, the great wobble occurred, I decided I couldn't do this thing at all! However, I did not do what I threatened to do last week if I struggled with university and my nerves this past week. If you can't remmeber, I stated ' I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will' I decided that instead of that, maybe doing something constructive would help me in the long run, and it actually did! Well done Katy!
Actually, the wobble continued for the rest of the week. I ended up in tears on Wednesday evening for no reason at all. Well actually, that might be Roxy the Foxy Rover's fault for making me spend my money on her! RUDE! Well tbh I needed to get new tyres for her. nearly £300!!! THANKS CAR! (I love her really! I should probably check that she is where I left her)
Which leads to the next point- Neil and Mum and their 6 hour trip to Lincolnland. It was nice, even though I ended up getting up at about 9am for them to arrive half an hour later. At which point, we took Roxy to get these new tyres she needed then went back to my flat for my brother to waltz around Lincoln dressed as a fox, and I am apparently the crazy one in my family! It was nice to see them though so I can't really complain, not that I do complain about them, much. Do I? Oh yeah, I do! :-p
Apart from seeing my Dad on Sunday, in which I happily spent all his money, and another Friday night playing Disney monopoly/singstar I think there is very little to tell you about last week, or at least anything that doesn't involve Doctor Who.
Friday evening- Yet another amazing night care of flat 4! Although no dominoes this time, and finally getting me on singstar, for 5 seconds without the insane laughing! Well some insane laughing from me but then a bit of singing, until the song which had been chosen jumped and refused to play at all! So that didn't last long. AND we also found the proper rules for playing drinking monopoly! Sadly, we all lost interest in playing after a while so gave up after a couple of hours.
Sunday was lovely, it has been a while since I have been able to spend time with just Dad and chat to him, like we used to when we went on long walks and for coffees and stuff like that. He always has the right words. :-)
So, erm, yeah. This has been the most annoying blog I've written so far, because not much really happened, and it took a long time to write because I actually forgot!
My favorite quote from Titus Andronicus is from Act 3 Scene 2; 'Thou map of woe, that thus dost talk in signs.'
In other news, Monday has to have been the first day I have fully wobbled in all senses of the word. I blame lack of sleep more than anything. Because the fire alarm went off at 6:15am and I must have only been asleep for about 2 hours before then. Much to my entertainment, upon returning to to bed, I couldn't fall asleep again, so have been exhausted all day.
So yeah, the great wobble occurred, I decided I couldn't do this thing at all! However, I did not do what I threatened to do last week if I struggled with university and my nerves this past week. If you can't remmeber, I stated ' I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will' I decided that instead of that, maybe doing something constructive would help me in the long run, and it actually did! Well done Katy!
Actually, the wobble continued for the rest of the week. I ended up in tears on Wednesday evening for no reason at all. Well actually, that might be Roxy the Foxy Rover's fault for making me spend my money on her! RUDE! Well tbh I needed to get new tyres for her. nearly £300!!! THANKS CAR! (I love her really! I should probably check that she is where I left her)
Which leads to the next point- Neil and Mum and their 6 hour trip to Lincolnland. It was nice, even though I ended up getting up at about 9am for them to arrive half an hour later. At which point, we took Roxy to get these new tyres she needed then went back to my flat for my brother to waltz around Lincoln dressed as a fox, and I am apparently the crazy one in my family! It was nice to see them though so I can't really complain, not that I do complain about them, much. Do I? Oh yeah, I do! :-p
Apart from seeing my Dad on Sunday, in which I happily spent all his money, and another Friday night playing Disney monopoly/singstar I think there is very little to tell you about last week, or at least anything that doesn't involve Doctor Who.
Friday evening- Yet another amazing night care of flat 4! Although no dominoes this time, and finally getting me on singstar, for 5 seconds without the insane laughing! Well some insane laughing from me but then a bit of singing, until the song which had been chosen jumped and refused to play at all! So that didn't last long. AND we also found the proper rules for playing drinking monopoly! Sadly, we all lost interest in playing after a while so gave up after a couple of hours.
Sunday was lovely, it has been a while since I have been able to spend time with just Dad and chat to him, like we used to when we went on long walks and for coffees and stuff like that. He always has the right words. :-)
So, erm, yeah. This has been the most annoying blog I've written so far, because not much really happened, and it took a long time to write because I actually forgot!
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Startled rabbit in the headlights
So, yet again, I'm awake at 1:30AM, and starting to write a blog. This is the curse of the insomniac who loves her coffee. And of course this also means this may well be a disjointed blog as I'll probably end up sleeping again before I post. (Oh, by the way, it is now 11:45am on Sunday morning so yes, this is a disjointed blog, as I'm now filling out earlier statements)
ANYWAY, Before we get into the more intricate details of my sleep pattern, well lack of sleep pattern. I shall now proceed to entertain you all with the story of my first week of final year.
The first thing to mention is that I actually forgot how nervous I get about some things. And apparently being back at university and having to actually go out and learn led to intense nervousness, to the point of not sleeping a wink the night before my first seminar. Always amusing (yes there was a hint of sarcasm right there for you). The morning before my first seminar, which happened to be Shakespeare resulted in me being out of bed at 7, starting to inhale coffee from 9ish and basically bouncing around my room whilst trying to control a panic attack. This then all culminated in me texting my Mum and declaring that I didn't want to go to my seminars, I couldn't do it. Of course, Mum knew best and told me to grow up and get on with it. So off I toddled ALL the way across the road to my first seminar. In which I was quite fine in, regardless of my irrational panic from earlier.
To make things a bit more interesting, I said something, in the seminar, that only happens once in a blue moon! And yeah ok, all I said was 'I didn't get it at all' in relation to what was happening in The Taming of The Shrew, which by the way, that was the play that we studied this past week, next week is Titus Andronicus, should read that tomorrow/today. I've read a bit and concluded that it is very, very violent!
So that was the end of the irrational panic then? That would be a NO! This panic continued for the whole of the first week. And annoyed me, immensely. I've been in and around Lincoln for most of the past 4 years, and I still get nervous coming to university? This is why you should never ever have any form of anxiety disorder, you can never really control it when it decides to flare and worry you. I just hope that it will not be here next week, I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will... Once I move all the bits and pieces that seem to have ended up under there in the past two weeks.
On a plus side though, Dissertation panic has subsided a fair bit following my meeting on Wednesday with my supervisor. Many ideas where thrown around which has got me thinking, and now I am working up the energy to go booknap some books to start reading for ideas of where I am going with Dr Who. I have a meeting again in week 4 to see that I am not going off on a complete tangent, this includes repeating the statement 'I <3 Dr Who/David Tennant' in my dissertation, it's not very academic! And also to finalise exactly what my 1500 words that we need to hand in for week 6 are going to be about.
Although, saying that, I have now caught up with series 7 of Doctor Who and instead of watching it for fun, I ended up debating if I could use stuff from this series for my dissertation. You'd think I'd want to cut down on material, given that I have 6 series to work with already, without adding an extra half of a series, BUT so many good quotes relating to Amy, Rory, River and The Doctor that could be used. I shall have to have a think on this, because the current obvious issue is that I don't have them on DVD and it depends on when they actually come out as to if I can include it. BUT SO MANY GOOD QUOTES.
I was about to go on a complete tangent here to talk about the Science Fiction module I am doing this semester, but realised, Dr Who IS Science Fiction, so lets just talk about that instead. I am LOVING it already. My inner Science Fiction and Fantasy geek is quite happy to be allowed weekly outings, I might let her stay around, although I would appreciate it if I could remember who wrote 'The Banned and the Banished Series' before I resort to google. And I was annoyed that I couldn't articulate my reasons for loving Science Fiction. I suppose I've grown up with it really, and read it from a really young age in things like Animorphs, that was fun to read when I was little. Yes, this module is awesome. And I am already trying to think what I could do my project on, I've got as far as 'NO DOCTOR WHO!' Because I'll go a bit more crazy if I'm not careful.
Backing up a bit, in my meeting with my dissertation supervisor, the issue of presentations and my irrational official phobia of them came up, this is one of those things that really, really bugs me. Especially now I know I can stand in front of an audience and thank people for coming to a burlesque show that I have organised. Yet the word, presentation still sets the fear to reappear in my life, although not as much as it has in the past. Maybe I am getting over it, who knows? I mean I did even volunteer to have a go, because there are only 12 students in there so it might not be too bad. However the back up plan is to yet again to do it 1:1 with the tutor.
Georgian literature seems to be interesting too, because it is the era when the novel first really kicked off en mass so to speak, so it will be nice to learn about it's development. However, I believe that for this week I am supposed to be reading a poem called 'Rape of The Lock' I should check this.
So In conclusion on the academic side of things, it looks like it is going to be a really enjoyable year and I hope that I do not have any breakdowns and manage to get through a year without any breakdowns/full freak outs/extensions on coursework etc etc etc.
In the social side, I am getting on with my housemates, which is always a positive. That was one of the massive things I was worrying about with returning to university, not getting on with housemates. Sars, Jasia and Chris are all people I feel comfortable with hanging out with. Friday night has to have been one of my favourite nights in Lincoln over the past million years that I have been here. We played a drinking game with Disney monopoly, but all ended up giving up (Jasia declared that she won by default). And then we ordered late night pizza and sat up until 2am just talking crap. It was fun, love random nights like that.
And let me end this ramble with the statement, next time I go to Asda I WILL NOT get lost going down a straight road!
ANYWAY, Before we get into the more intricate details of my sleep pattern, well lack of sleep pattern. I shall now proceed to entertain you all with the story of my first week of final year.
The first thing to mention is that I actually forgot how nervous I get about some things. And apparently being back at university and having to actually go out and learn led to intense nervousness, to the point of not sleeping a wink the night before my first seminar. Always amusing (yes there was a hint of sarcasm right there for you). The morning before my first seminar, which happened to be Shakespeare resulted in me being out of bed at 7, starting to inhale coffee from 9ish and basically bouncing around my room whilst trying to control a panic attack. This then all culminated in me texting my Mum and declaring that I didn't want to go to my seminars, I couldn't do it. Of course, Mum knew best and told me to grow up and get on with it. So off I toddled ALL the way across the road to my first seminar. In which I was quite fine in, regardless of my irrational panic from earlier.
To make things a bit more interesting, I said something, in the seminar, that only happens once in a blue moon! And yeah ok, all I said was 'I didn't get it at all' in relation to what was happening in The Taming of The Shrew, which by the way, that was the play that we studied this past week, next week is Titus Andronicus, should read that tomorrow/today. I've read a bit and concluded that it is very, very violent!
So that was the end of the irrational panic then? That would be a NO! This panic continued for the whole of the first week. And annoyed me, immensely. I've been in and around Lincoln for most of the past 4 years, and I still get nervous coming to university? This is why you should never ever have any form of anxiety disorder, you can never really control it when it decides to flare and worry you. I just hope that it will not be here next week, I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will... Once I move all the bits and pieces that seem to have ended up under there in the past two weeks.
On a plus side though, Dissertation panic has subsided a fair bit following my meeting on Wednesday with my supervisor. Many ideas where thrown around which has got me thinking, and now I am working up the energy to go booknap some books to start reading for ideas of where I am going with Dr Who. I have a meeting again in week 4 to see that I am not going off on a complete tangent, this includes repeating the statement 'I <3 Dr Who/David Tennant' in my dissertation, it's not very academic! And also to finalise exactly what my 1500 words that we need to hand in for week 6 are going to be about.
Although, saying that, I have now caught up with series 7 of Doctor Who and instead of watching it for fun, I ended up debating if I could use stuff from this series for my dissertation. You'd think I'd want to cut down on material, given that I have 6 series to work with already, without adding an extra half of a series, BUT so many good quotes relating to Amy, Rory, River and The Doctor that could be used. I shall have to have a think on this, because the current obvious issue is that I don't have them on DVD and it depends on when they actually come out as to if I can include it. BUT SO MANY GOOD QUOTES.
I was about to go on a complete tangent here to talk about the Science Fiction module I am doing this semester, but realised, Dr Who IS Science Fiction, so lets just talk about that instead. I am LOVING it already. My inner Science Fiction and Fantasy geek is quite happy to be allowed weekly outings, I might let her stay around, although I would appreciate it if I could remember who wrote 'The Banned and the Banished Series' before I resort to google. And I was annoyed that I couldn't articulate my reasons for loving Science Fiction. I suppose I've grown up with it really, and read it from a really young age in things like Animorphs, that was fun to read when I was little. Yes, this module is awesome. And I am already trying to think what I could do my project on, I've got as far as 'NO DOCTOR WHO!' Because I'll go a bit more crazy if I'm not careful.
Backing up a bit, in my meeting with my dissertation supervisor, the issue of presentations and my irrational official phobia of them came up, this is one of those things that really, really bugs me. Especially now I know I can stand in front of an audience and thank people for coming to a burlesque show that I have organised. Yet the word, presentation still sets the fear to reappear in my life, although not as much as it has in the past. Maybe I am getting over it, who knows? I mean I did even volunteer to have a go, because there are only 12 students in there so it might not be too bad. However the back up plan is to yet again to do it 1:1 with the tutor.
Georgian literature seems to be interesting too, because it is the era when the novel first really kicked off en mass so to speak, so it will be nice to learn about it's development. However, I believe that for this week I am supposed to be reading a poem called 'Rape of The Lock' I should check this.
So In conclusion on the academic side of things, it looks like it is going to be a really enjoyable year and I hope that I do not have any breakdowns and manage to get through a year without any breakdowns/full freak outs/extensions on coursework etc etc etc.
In the social side, I am getting on with my housemates, which is always a positive. That was one of the massive things I was worrying about with returning to university, not getting on with housemates. Sars, Jasia and Chris are all people I feel comfortable with hanging out with. Friday night has to have been one of my favourite nights in Lincoln over the past million years that I have been here. We played a drinking game with Disney monopoly, but all ended up giving up (Jasia declared that she won by default). And then we ordered late night pizza and sat up until 2am just talking crap. It was fun, love random nights like that.
And let me end this ramble with the statement, next time I go to Asda I WILL NOT get lost going down a straight road!
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Fresher's week
Hey all,
So I've already failed the posting every Sunday thing like I promised (who exactly did I promise though? myself? you? the moon?) But I did have a genuine reason for not posting since arriving in Lincoln and it is a very, very simple reason. I had no internet access at all for 13 days. Well except for the access on my phone. And that was a bit sporadic, much to my annoyance. I was a very deprived child for two weeks, I did UNI WORK! Scary I know!
which leads us to here, two weeks after I moved to university, at which, you are about to experience 2 blogs in the space of two days, one right now, and one tomorrow. Because you need to know these things. This is after all the blog of me at university in my final year being a crazy person.
Why do you need to know about my life? Because I said so, even though my word is not the law!
Right then, before I start to turn this introduction into an essay in it's own right, here follows my posts from moving in on Saturday the 15th right up until the Saturday following. I wrote them on word! I would have hand written them, but I have a wrist (called George) whom makes it his mission in life to hurt me.
Right then, before I start to turn this introduction into an essay in it's own right, here follows my posts from moving in on Saturday the 15th right up until the Saturday following. I wrote them on word! I would have hand written them, but I have a wrist (called George) whom makes it his mission in life to hurt me.
Enjoy my waffling. Although it is actually boring because the laptop hated me!
Saturday 15th September
The main problem with returning to university is the whole having to unpack thing. I am the sort of person to get distracted by ALL the shiny things in life, which means I get sidetracked by everything. A prime example of this is that I have now been in my room (at the time of writing this) for 5 hours and so far I have unpacked just my books, doctor who DVD’s and kitchen stuff. Ok, that is slightly more than I thought but still I could have fully unpacked by now.
I feel this may take until I have to start packing to leave before I finished unpacking!
By My plan of action today was to to start by making myself a cup of coffee and going from there... Which of course will turn into several cups of Coffee and avoiding unpacking like the plague.
Thursday 20th September
Had our third year ‘welcome back’ talk today- oh my god, pressure this year is going to be immense, and we haven’t even started. I know deep down that I can do this. But all the self doubt is starting to appear, my favorite train of thought so far is ‘OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU DO NO WORK OVER THE SUMMER WHY!!!’ But I know that this is because up until I was actual in my room at university, it honestly didn't feel real to me. So I suppose now is the time to start working, AND to try to not avoid the uni work, nor leave it until last minute. Especially if I am aiming for a 2:1.
Saturday 15th September
The main problem with returning to university is the whole having to unpack thing. I am the sort of person to get distracted by ALL the shiny things in life, which means I get sidetracked by everything. A prime example of this is that I have now been in my room (at the time of writing this) for 5 hours and so far I have unpacked just my books, doctor who DVD’s and kitchen stuff. Ok, that is slightly more than I thought but still I could have fully unpacked by now.
I feel this may take until I have to start packing to leave before I finished unpacking!
By My plan of action today was to to start by making myself a cup of coffee and going from there... Which of course will turn into several cups of Coffee and avoiding unpacking like the plague.
Thursday 20th September
Had our third year ‘welcome back’ talk today- oh my god, pressure this year is going to be immense, and we haven’t even started. I know deep down that I can do this. But all the self doubt is starting to appear, my favorite train of thought so far is ‘OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU DO NO WORK OVER THE SUMMER WHY!!!’ But I know that this is because up until I was actual in my room at university, it honestly didn't feel real to me. So I suppose now is the time to start working, AND to try to not avoid the uni work, nor leave it until last minute. Especially if I am aiming for a 2:1.
As an after thought, even though I am sat in my room at university, fully enrolled, complete with work to do, being back still doesn't feel like it has happened. Nor does it feel like I have had a year off.
Friday 21st September
Just been reading Russell T Davies book on Doctor Who and he has said something that I can relate to. He stated that he always lets ideas for stories formulate in his head before he feels confident enough to write them down to write/type/sound it out with someone. I always do this, for example, with my dissertation, I have had a few ideas formulating in my head for a while such as the chapters- how exactly am I going to chapter it? I’m starting to formulate some ideas, but I need to run some ideas past Le supervisor first.
Friday 21st September
Just been reading Russell T Davies book on Doctor Who and he has said something that I can relate to. He stated that he always lets ideas for stories formulate in his head before he feels confident enough to write them down to write/type/sound it out with someone. I always do this, for example, with my dissertation, I have had a few ideas formulating in my head for a while such as the chapters- how exactly am I going to chapter it? I’m starting to formulate some ideas, but I need to run some ideas past Le supervisor first.
Sunday 23rd September
I'd forgotten just how nervous going to university actually can make me. I am already feeling panicked about being back, mainly because I know no one on the course at all (except James actually). I know that I can do this, be at university again, starting from scratch, I've done it. Yet still the irrational fear will not go away, as is the curse of having an Anxiety disorder. Roll on next Friday when I've got through it all.
I'd forgotten just how nervous going to university actually can make me. I am already feeling panicked about being back, mainly because I know no one on the course at all (except James actually). I know that I can do this, be at university again, starting from scratch, I've done it. Yet still the irrational fear will not go away, as is the curse of having an Anxiety disorder. Roll on next Friday when I've got through it all.
Thursday, 13 September 2012
from last week....
So if you have me as a friend on Facebook, you may have noticed this status by me;
Public school kids: it is a shame that when mummy and daddy handed you that silver spoon to put in your gob that they didn't teach you to respect others!
I have been asked by a few people what the story behind it was and I haven't really said anything due to the anger that the situation actually caused. Now I've calmed down, I'm happy to mention why I got angry.
I went to meet my father at his workplace for a coffee, which is at YSJ uni, the way I walk to uni is via Bootham, which takes me past the delight that is St Peter's School. But the event which I am talking about happened on my way back home.
Upon nearing the school, I caught up with 4 female pupils who where following a middle age man who was walking with a prominent limp, and these young 'women' had been following him for a while, basically taking the piss out of the way that he walked. I overtook them and slowed down when I got near the man to see if he was ok, and he was crying his eyes out. He knew exactly what those girls were doing behind his back. I asked him if he was ok, he said no and asked if I would walk past the school with him. I said yes and walked part of the way home with him while he told me the reason that he had a limp. He had been born with a slightly shorter leg and couldn't help it. Once we got past the school and to a point our paths separated this man thanked me a lot for the kindness I had shown him.
These girls knew their actions where upsetting this man, yet continued to take the piss out of him. Just because they could.
If the man hadn't asked me to walk with him, I would have been straight into the school to tell them how disrespectful their 'privileged little brats where', but the man also asked me to let the issue drop because as far as he was concerned words would not help solve the issue.
But the question here is, why should we be afraid of speaking out against discrimination?
I'd also like to take a moment to thank my parents for teaching me manners and respect for others.
Sunday, 9 September 2012
Last minute jitters!
I can't decide which emotion I am currently feeling the most about my return to university. I think I have gone through every emotion possible today. I mean I've bought half my reading list for this semseter now and have started reading them. (ok I started reading the comic book first, got to put my university head on slowly).
But in all honesty I am currently a mixture of nerves and excitment. I'm excited to be returning after what feels like a very long time off, but I'm nervous for many, many different reasons. I have so many questions running through my head, usually late at night before I sleep relating to returning to uni.
Will I make any friends on my course? What if I don't? What if I don't get on with anyone? What about my housemates? Will we get on? Or will it be like first year all over again? Will I actually get my degree? Can I do this? Am I capable of the 2:1 I dream of? Will I fall apart? Can I actually do my dissertation well? Will I fall apart if I have to do a presentation?
Yeah, that is the current train of thought. But I also know I can achieve these things, like getting a degree if I apply myself. I just have to ignore my self doubt.
In one week, I shall be back at university. It seems so very very close, yet still a little unreal. But, I know June 2013 will arrive so quickly, when I pack up my stuff to leave university and await the results of my degree.
Also, from next sunday/monday, I shall be attempting to write a post on this blog weekly about what is occuring. Hopefully it will be exciting.
But in all honesty I am currently a mixture of nerves and excitment. I'm excited to be returning after what feels like a very long time off, but I'm nervous for many, many different reasons. I have so many questions running through my head, usually late at night before I sleep relating to returning to uni.
Will I make any friends on my course? What if I don't? What if I don't get on with anyone? What about my housemates? Will we get on? Or will it be like first year all over again? Will I actually get my degree? Can I do this? Am I capable of the 2:1 I dream of? Will I fall apart? Can I actually do my dissertation well? Will I fall apart if I have to do a presentation?
Yeah, that is the current train of thought. But I also know I can achieve these things, like getting a degree if I apply myself. I just have to ignore my self doubt.
In one week, I shall be back at university. It seems so very very close, yet still a little unreal. But, I know June 2013 will arrive so quickly, when I pack up my stuff to leave university and await the results of my degree.
Also, from next sunday/monday, I shall be attempting to write a post on this blog weekly about what is occuring. Hopefully it will be exciting.
Monday, 20 August 2012
The insane early morning/night musings
So, it is 12:50am on Saturday 18th August, which means I should be asleep right now, naturally I am wide awake! This also means that this blog is likely to be written in two parts, so I apologise to one and all if it appears disjointed at any point.
Also, this reminds me that I only have 2 Saturday's left at work as I finish work on the last day of this month, which happens to be a Friday. Cannot believe it is nearly time to go back.
Moving on from work, here is what has been going on in the slow run up to returning to university.
I am now engaged in a debate with the bank, who now believe I have graduated from university and as such I now no longer qualify for a student account. Which, unless I somehow gained access to the TARDIS and travelled back in time, hasn't actually happened, so now I need to provide them with some evidence from the university to prove I am returning to study. Hopefully I can sort this out in the next week.
*TANGENT*
So I went to bed and it is now Monday night, which means I have now worked my last Monday! Scary times!
Anyway back to what I came to ramble about.
Since August 1st, I have been the proud owner of a Rover (Yes I can hear your laughing now), which I love and am amazed that I can actually afford to run whilst at university next year, mainly because I do not plan to drive it much whilst in Lincoln. I look forward to being able to get home a lot easier as needed.
In other spending ALL the money news, I have spent ALL the money that I have saved up over the past year now, the second £1500 has been spent on my accommodation for university, which I currently have no address for, except to know I am returning to on campus accommodation, this is making university start to feel a bit more like it is going to happen. I've had a thought at the back of my mind for the past 15 months that I am not going to go back for whatever reason, but I am so determined to go back now, I want this degree so much! But hopefully I will find out where I am living within the next week or so!
In other slightly entertaining, Katy should be annoyed but really isn't news, I recently discovered that my tuition fees had not been paid for the 2010/11 academic year, and no one had even picked up on this issue until I pointed it out to SFE! However, one quick phone call and an investigation later, it is all sorted and is being paid to the university this week so all is good. AND for once, SFE admitted the error was with them and not me!
And on a final point, my PC has been kidnapped for a health check, so I've not really been sauntering around the internet as much as I usually do. I'm not missing the internet as much as I usually do when I am without it. But I did suddenly get the desire to do some work dissertation wise, within half an hour of my PC being stolen. I mean, I have hardly done anything dissertation wise recently and NEED to watch some DR Who before I go back to university. So may steal the TV in the name of Katy tomorrow night.
Also, this reminds me that I only have 2 Saturday's left at work as I finish work on the last day of this month, which happens to be a Friday. Cannot believe it is nearly time to go back.
Moving on from work, here is what has been going on in the slow run up to returning to university.
I am now engaged in a debate with the bank, who now believe I have graduated from university and as such I now no longer qualify for a student account. Which, unless I somehow gained access to the TARDIS and travelled back in time, hasn't actually happened, so now I need to provide them with some evidence from the university to prove I am returning to study. Hopefully I can sort this out in the next week.
*TANGENT*
So I went to bed and it is now Monday night, which means I have now worked my last Monday! Scary times!
Anyway back to what I came to ramble about.
Since August 1st, I have been the proud owner of a Rover (Yes I can hear your laughing now), which I love and am amazed that I can actually afford to run whilst at university next year, mainly because I do not plan to drive it much whilst in Lincoln. I look forward to being able to get home a lot easier as needed.
In other spending ALL the money news, I have spent ALL the money that I have saved up over the past year now, the second £1500 has been spent on my accommodation for university, which I currently have no address for, except to know I am returning to on campus accommodation, this is making university start to feel a bit more like it is going to happen. I've had a thought at the back of my mind for the past 15 months that I am not going to go back for whatever reason, but I am so determined to go back now, I want this degree so much! But hopefully I will find out where I am living within the next week or so!
In other slightly entertaining, Katy should be annoyed but really isn't news, I recently discovered that my tuition fees had not been paid for the 2010/11 academic year, and no one had even picked up on this issue until I pointed it out to SFE! However, one quick phone call and an investigation later, it is all sorted and is being paid to the university this week so all is good. AND for once, SFE admitted the error was with them and not me!
And on a final point, my PC has been kidnapped for a health check, so I've not really been sauntering around the internet as much as I usually do. I'm not missing the internet as much as I usually do when I am without it. But I did suddenly get the desire to do some work dissertation wise, within half an hour of my PC being stolen. I mean, I have hardly done anything dissertation wise recently and NEED to watch some DR Who before I go back to university. So may steal the TV in the name of Katy tomorrow night.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
random points
Yesterday I was hit by the realiseation that it is 9 weeks until I move back to university, and although this filled me with a mixture of both excitement and the fear of knowing it is my final year which means I am slowly getting nearer to having to make big responsible 'adult life' decisions. Which if you know me well causes this thought to occur;
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!' and then I'd probably get distracted by something shiney!
Anyway, moving on from that. This also led me to think about things I have enjoyed as well as the things I will miss that I have experienced over my year off. And in no particular order here they all are in bullet form;
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!' and then I'd probably get distracted by something shiney!
Anyway, moving on from that. This also led me to think about things I have enjoyed as well as the things I will miss that I have experienced over my year off. And in no particular order here they all are in bullet form;
- The girls and random boy that I work with. I've worked with a few of them for near on 9 years now and get on with them all so much, I always miss them when I am away at uni and I like being able to have a laugh and confide in people that I work with. Although, I am not a huge fan of the early morning starts, the occasionally annoying customer and some of the bad news we have had this year. But still, I love them all lots and miss them all already.
- Beavers, I've only been going since the start of March, which resulted in me kicking myself over not getting involved sooner and then going on a massive hunt to find a local beaver unit in Lincoln that I can get involved with next year at university. I have had some really sweet conversations with the children, ranging from how far away santa lives (1 trillion miles apparently), why where I work isn't called Thomas the Tank Engine Bakers and why families are different.
- Coming home from work and not having to worry about getting on with essays/reading for uni/anything university related.
- Mum- for her awesome cooking, random hugs, awesome days out and all the freebies of living at home.
Monday, 25 June 2012
82 days to go
So, on June 18th 2012, it was exactly a year since I left my room at uni and returned home to York to start my gap year. Now it is less than 3 months until I return for my final year of what I expect to be a highly stressful and bizarre final year of university.
What makes me laugh is that I am in theory finishing university about 4 years after I should have graduated... but in reality I only started university in 2008. Should have finished in 2011, but alas, life got in a the way.
I think I am ready to go back. But I'll probably decide I'm not when I start to freak out about the essays when they appear. But I have to remember that I have worked so bloody hard and maybe neglected my mental health a bit too much to not end up with a degree.
If worst comes to worst, I can fall onto the 'if I can't do it for me, I can do it for my friends and family' track, it nearly always works.
And with that, I think I should probably go, I have nothing that exciting to say about uni. I'm at the stage of organising it that there is nothing I can do but actually turn up!
What makes me laugh is that I am in theory finishing university about 4 years after I should have graduated... but in reality I only started university in 2008. Should have finished in 2011, but alas, life got in a the way.
I think I am ready to go back. But I'll probably decide I'm not when I start to freak out about the essays when they appear. But I have to remember that I have worked so bloody hard and maybe neglected my mental health a bit too much to not end up with a degree.
If worst comes to worst, I can fall onto the 'if I can't do it for me, I can do it for my friends and family' track, it nearly always works.
And with that, I think I should probably go, I have nothing that exciting to say about uni. I'm at the stage of organising it that there is nothing I can do but actually turn up!
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