So, yet again, I'm awake at 1:30AM, and starting to write a blog. This is the curse of the insomniac who loves her coffee. And of course this also means this may well be a disjointed blog as I'll probably end up sleeping again before I post. (Oh, by the way, it is now 11:45am on Sunday morning so yes, this is a disjointed blog, as I'm now filling out earlier statements)
ANYWAY, Before we get into the more intricate details of my sleep pattern, well lack of sleep pattern. I shall now proceed to entertain you all with the story of my first week of final year.
The first thing to mention is that I actually forgot how nervous I get about some things. And apparently being back at university and having to actually go out and learn led to intense nervousness, to the point of not sleeping a wink the night before my first seminar. Always amusing (yes there was a hint of sarcasm right there for you). The morning before my first seminar, which happened to be Shakespeare resulted in me being out of bed at 7, starting to inhale coffee from 9ish and basically bouncing around my room whilst trying to control a panic attack. This then all culminated in me texting my Mum and declaring that I didn't want to go to my seminars, I couldn't do it. Of course, Mum knew best and told me to grow up and get on with it. So off I toddled ALL the way across the road to my first seminar. In which I was quite fine in, regardless of my irrational panic from earlier.
To make things a bit more interesting, I said something, in the seminar, that only happens once in a blue moon! And yeah ok, all I said was 'I didn't get it at all' in relation to what was happening in The Taming of The Shrew, which by the way, that was the play that we studied this past week, next week is Titus Andronicus, should read that tomorrow/today. I've read a bit and concluded that it is very, very violent!
So that was the end of the irrational panic then? That would be a NO! This panic continued for the whole of the first week. And annoyed me, immensely. I've been in and around Lincoln for most of the past 4 years, and I still get nervous coming to university? This is why you should never ever have any form of anxiety disorder, you can never really control it when it decides to flare and worry you. I just hope that it will not be here next week, I may actually go and cry to myself under my desk in my room whilst rocking back and forth. Yes, I actually will... Once I move all the bits and pieces that seem to have ended up under there in the past two weeks.
On a plus side though, Dissertation panic has subsided a fair bit following my meeting on Wednesday with my supervisor. Many ideas where thrown around which has got me thinking, and now I am working up the energy to go booknap some books to start reading for ideas of where I am going with Dr Who. I have a meeting again in week 4 to see that I am not going off on a complete tangent, this includes repeating the statement 'I <3 Dr Who/David Tennant' in my dissertation, it's not very academic! And also to finalise exactly what my 1500 words that we need to hand in for week 6 are going to be about.
Although, saying that, I have now caught up with series 7 of Doctor Who and instead of watching it for fun, I ended up debating if I could use stuff from this series for my dissertation. You'd think I'd want to cut down on material, given that I have 6 series to work with already, without adding an extra half of a series, BUT so many good quotes relating to Amy, Rory, River and The Doctor that could be used. I shall have to have a think on this, because the current obvious issue is that I don't have them on DVD and it depends on when they actually come out as to if I can include it. BUT SO MANY GOOD QUOTES.
I was about to go on a complete tangent here to talk about the Science Fiction module I am doing this semester, but realised, Dr Who IS Science Fiction, so lets just talk about that instead. I am LOVING it already. My inner Science Fiction and Fantasy geek is quite happy to be allowed weekly outings, I might let her stay around, although I would appreciate it if I could remember who wrote 'The Banned and the Banished Series' before I resort to google. And I was annoyed that I couldn't articulate my reasons for loving Science Fiction. I suppose I've grown up with it really, and read it from a really young age in things like Animorphs, that was fun to read when I was little. Yes, this module is awesome. And I am already trying to think what I could do my project on, I've got as far as 'NO DOCTOR WHO!' Because I'll go a bit more crazy if I'm not careful.
Backing up a bit, in my meeting with my dissertation supervisor, the issue of presentations and my irrational official phobia of them came up, this is one of those things that really, really bugs me. Especially now I know I can stand in front of an audience and thank people for coming to a burlesque show that I have organised. Yet the word, presentation still sets the fear to reappear in my life, although not as much as it has in the past. Maybe I am getting over it, who knows? I mean I did even volunteer to have a go, because there are only 12 students in there so it might not be too bad. However the back up plan is to yet again to do it 1:1 with the tutor.
Georgian literature seems to be interesting too, because it is the era when the novel first really kicked off en mass so to speak, so it will be nice to learn about it's development. However, I believe that for this week I am supposed to be reading a poem called 'Rape of The Lock' I should check this.
So In conclusion on the academic side of things, it looks like it is going to be a really enjoyable year and I hope that I do not have any breakdowns and manage to get through a year without any breakdowns/full freak outs/extensions on coursework etc etc etc.
In the social side, I am getting on with my housemates, which is always a positive. That was one of the massive things I was worrying about with returning to university, not getting on with housemates. Sars, Jasia and Chris are all people I feel comfortable with hanging out with. Friday night has to have been one of my favourite nights in Lincoln over the past million years that I have been here. We played a drinking game with Disney monopoly, but all ended up giving up (Jasia declared that she won by default). And then we ordered late night pizza and sat up until 2am just talking crap. It was fun, love random nights like that.
And let me end this ramble with the statement, next time I go to Asda I WILL NOT get lost going down a straight road!
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